“I’m in love with God,” I think to myself as I go about the ordinary things in my life: school, homework, and dinner. I’m haunted by these memories where I don’t know what I am thinking.  I don’t understand what I was feeling. Am I really feeling the emotion of love toward an invisible Being that I believe exists and loves me too?

It’s in the most pain-filled moments I realize that God is my Portion. When that one thing I’ve been putting my hope in for happiness - my life and my salvation - dies, I see. And as I give it up to the Lord, I understand what is not my Portion and Who is.

The seeds of seeking God as my Portion continue in high school. I lay down my next only if at the Lord’s feet as I give up success, and something, or rather Someone, as my portion again.

Seeking God as my Portion continues to grow through the most excruciating and painful experiences in my life. I’m sick to my stomach after having drunk some well water from a small Ethiopian village. I know what you’re thinking, why in the world would I drink unfiltered water from a well in a small Ethiopian village?

When God Himself is our Portion, it means we are seeking to know Him, not just know more about Him. We are seeking an encounter and many encounters with God that will transform our perspectives and change our lives.

We are asking to be God chasers, to be placed in the position where we are to seek Him out. We are asking to be active pursuers in this relationship looking for Him in the places he normally resides, looking at his tracks, hoping for a true encounter.

One word picture for the intimacy we are asking for with Him is to seek His face. We contrast seeking God’s face to seeking the works of His hands, which paints a picture of longing for intimacy with God for its own sake, rather than seeking God for what he can do for us.